


Value Me.

by the14hymns



Series: Inside Chaldea and the Grand Orders [2]
Category: Fate/Grand Order
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Friendship, Gen, Master & Servant, Originally Posted on Tumblr, Pre-Solomon Temple, Tumblr Prompt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-24
Updated: 2017-07-24
Packaged: 2018-12-06 12:46:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,092
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11600946
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/the14hymns/pseuds/the14hymns
Summary: Yuu wonders what it means to value someone, and realizes she does indeed value someone. It comes with some consequences, but things are happy somewhat.





	Value Me.

**Author's Note:**

> Drum roll, just wrote this like this morning. I named the female protagonist of F/GO Yuu Tsukiyomi. This is like four pages long can you believe?

_Value. What does it mean to value someone?_

That sort of thing wasn’t something the girl doesn’t really understand so much. She adored her older sister, respected her parents. But as for value… who did she value? Was there just one person that she had to value, or was it multiple? There were many things she felt about Mash and Roman as whole. But it was two different things all together as the two of them has contrasted. She knew that she cherished Mash a whole lot, while as for Roman… _that was something else, entirely._

( _She’s not sure what to describe it entirely but maybe a silly fleeting crush?_ )

When it came to her thoughts and feelings about her Servants, it was a mixed bag. She hadn’t really sort out her thoughts of what she thought about all of them. It was obvious that they all cared for her. She felt the same way towards them, however it was hard to differentiate on what she felt for each of them. She had kept some distance to all of her servants, because there’s a painful truth that she knows, even if it isn’t really said out loud. ‘ _They’ll have to return back one day, after the mission objective is finished._ ’

Heroic Spirits aren’t meant to stay in the present after all. It tugs on her heartstrings, that the people  she got to known fully will leave her one day. It hurt a lot, but she’ll push it aside and ignore it.

( _Mash would be the only one left after all… who would stay, but...what is it to say that she can’t…?_ )

But maybe there was one Heroic Spirit, that she certainly values a whole lot. She doesn’t know why herself, but she just just does. That person, is one of her Servants who happened to be Avenger. How did it turn out this way? _Process._ A very long and hefty process, which she thinks was very long, despite the short time. Admittedly at first, she was intimidated and terrified of him, for many reasons, towards the fact he was a shadowless form.

Of course, he noticed this and used this against her. _Many, many times._ It made her become at unease with him, but she fought back ( _not physically, of course_ ) but being immune to what he said and ignoring his threats to backstab her. She responded by snarking at him and he would laugh at her like a maniac, “This is how a Master and Servant suppose to interact~”. This sentence had confused her, however at times. She had tried to understand why he said this, but … she didn’t quite comprehend it, so she put it on the back of her mind.

Eventually he stopped saying it, as things changed and their relationship as Master and Servant went through things as well. She soon stopped being scared of him, seeing him something else than just the “All The World’s Evil”, just someone who happened to be in a unfortunate situation. If anything, she understood his misfortune, even though she never said it out loud. Even though it wasn’t the same, she felt as it was in a sense with her chaotic first day at Chaldea. But in comparison, it would be petty to say it was similar. It kind of was, but that was how she could accurately understand him, _in a sense._

Threats of violence and backstabbing became conversations and throughout discussion. She hadn’t realized it, but she started to care more than she actually thought she would. She started to care for her Servants, started to want to understand them more, just because her relationship changed with Avenger. Because she learnt to value him as not just a Servant, but as a person and, shockingly _a friend._ That so-called distance was gone, but it was still there. Hesitance and her own feelings of not wanting to get close.

 _Despite, that she is already close that she might fall._ He warned her many times during those first few weeks and it really just hit her hard close.

She had a dream or a nightmare, _perhaps._ She watched her dreamself standing and running towards her Servants, her dear _companions,_ her so-called friends. But as she ran to each of them, they smiled and disappeared into the light. It seemed to be endless, until she came towards Avenger who was the last of her servants. He smiled, holding a finger towards his lips as he spoke a voice so softly and gently, “ _I told you so, Master. You should have kept your distance!_ ” With that, he turned his back on her and disappeared as well.

Her dream-self fell down onto her knees, crying her eyes out, _bawling really_. She was clutching at her sides screaming a repeated sentence over and over. “ _Why, did I decide to become a Master for?_ ” Then her dream-self stood up and turned around facing her. Her eyes were red from crying and pointed at her. “ _So, what are you… going do, now Yuu_?” That question woke her up gasping for breath and she almost _screamed,_ “ _I don’t know!_ ” But she didn’t, as she stared at the wall in front of her, and looked downwards at her side, where Mash was asleep peacefully.

Smiling at the sight, she calmed down significantly but...she was still on the edge. She kept shaking her head violently and shut her eyes tight as she went back to sleep. The last thought on her mind was, ‘ _I’m… going to talk to Roman… tomorrow in the morning._ ’ And that she did. Dragging her tired self to his clinic, she closed the door behind her for privacy and the light orange haired man looked at her quizzically but decided not to question her, motioning her to sit down on the extra chair.

She obliged plopping herself on the chair, closing her eyes tightly for a few minutes. She opened them once again, as she faced Roman, who looked at her attentively as he waited for her to speak. So she did, “I had a dream last night and … well it could be a nightmare, but I’m not sure.” She laughs weakly continuing on, “I saw… _everyone_ standing there but well in a certain order zig-zagged. They weren’t talking but they were smiling, until _I_ reached each one of them… they just faded into the light.” Her hands were trembling as she clutched on to her chair for support. “It would keep continuing until I came across Avenger. He just stood there smiling at me, and he was the only one who spoke, and …”

She pauses looking down taking short breaths, trying to calm down. Roman decided to intervene that moment, “You don’t need to continue if it's too hard for you.” She shook her head at him, “I’m fine. I’m… just shaken up a little bit, sorry.” She looks up smiling, even if it's insincere and the doctor press his lips together into a thin line nodding. Clearing her throat, she continued on, “It was something like, ’ _I told you so, Master. You should have kept your distance!’_ and he turned around walking off… disappearing as well.”

Tears were welling up in her eyes and she didn’t realize it, nor did she even realize that this one dream was affecting her _so badly_. The tears were dropping and Roman hastily thrust a tissue box onto the younger girl’s lap, and trying to comfort her, soon eloping her into a sudden hug. He patted her back somewhat awkwardly going, “There, there.” She couldn’t help give a choked laugh as she wiped her tears. “Thanks, I guess, for trying to comfort me, but it’s not helping me.”

“At least I’m trying.” He says with some annoyance from his part as he let go of the girl, sitting back down into his chair. “Before I say anything of my overall thoughts and stuff like that, I would like to know how you feel right now, before we continue on.” A small shaky nod from her as she sighed slowly. Her thoughts were in complete disarray, but she knew one thing for sure. “I don’t think I can just keep my distance from any of my Servants. _Any of them really._ ” Her mind flashes to an image of Avenger who smirks at her, with his hands behind his head. “I’d be lonely somehow. But… I think it’d be … more painful when they leave in the end, and there was a distance between me and them.”

“Yuu… are you afraid of being alone, in amongst all these Servants you have?” Roman suddenly asks in a serious tone and she can’t help but squirm a little. “I am, a little. It’s silly and I know it’s silly… but even with all of them, I’m one person, a Master to all of them.” She says, with some hesitance with the man looking at her squarely.  “Somehow… it hurts to think about when they _leave._ And all those same Servants who were wandering around Chaldea… are just gone. It’s lonely and painful at the same time.” She had nothing else to say, but look at the ground as if there was something shiny on the ground.

There was a slight poke onto her forehead, forcing her to look up at the smiling yet exasperated doctor. “Your _fears are fine_ , Yuu.” He says, “But if you are that afraid of when they leave, I think what matters the most is your bonds and your memories with your Servants. Sure it might be painful, but you still have that bond that was forged during your time with them, and the memories. You are connected with them always, even when they are gone.” A poke turned into messing with her hair gently, “You should at least remember that, but I’m not blaming you. I can see why you would be afraid. These are people who helped you along your journey, and that knowledge of just knowing that they’ll be gone, _it hurts._ ”

He lets go and the girl was smiling a tiny one, while also blushing. “Thanks for talking to me, Roman. I think I understand a whole lot of things now.” The doctor gave a nod and turned around from her, grabbing something from his desk. Turning back again to face her, he was holding a cake box in hand. “Want some cake? I got some tea as well, and I’m sure you would like something sweet after that long emotional talk with me.” She looked surprised, but accepted, “Sure.”

Later that day in her room, she sat on her bed staring at the ceiling organizing her thoughts and mulling over them. As she came to a conclusion, her door had slided open to reveal Avenger who walked in with hands behind his head. He looked cheerful and if anything, that seemed to be a good thing to her at least. She waved at him lightly and he walked over near her, only to stand next to her bed. It was merely sheer silence between them, until she decided to break that silence. “Say, _Avenger_ what do you think it means to value someone?” That certainly caught the Servant off guard, as he blinked. “What do you mean by that _Master?_ ”

“ _What do I mean?_ ” ShShe repeats looking at him owlishly, and then she looks away, “I’m not sure what I mean myself, but I don’t think it’s quite definite. But I know that I really understand what it means to value someone you care about.” She looked happy somewhat, and Avenger couldn’t help but shrug. “Still don’t know what you are going on about, Master. You are making no sense at all.” A laugh escaped from the said Master’s throat as she got up from her bed, “It’s fine! You don’t need to worry about it. I still haven’t figured out everything myself either, but I have my answer!”

With that she faces the shadowless servant with a knowing smile which makes him bewildered, as she turns away going outside her room. “Hey Master, don’t just leave me hanging!” He protested as he chased after her as he thinks, ‘ _Sheesh, what strange Master I have._ ’

Yuu however walked faster, with hands behind her back, ‘ _I definitely won’t let a distance separate us, even after you're gone.’_ She looks behind her with Avenger still trying catch up, as she stuck her tongue out at him. “I’m not telling you anything!” Soon running in a dash laughing heartily leaving a poor confused Avenger behind.


End file.
